It’s that time of year again dear beautiful souls, where we don our blacks and shun any kind of celebration as we mourn the martyrdom of Our Beloved Prophet’s (PBUH) Beloved Grandson Al-Husayn Ibn-e Ali (AS)…the mosques and azaa khaanas are being prepared, speakers are being booked and our diaries are starting to fill for the next 2 months and 8 days!
It seems like a whirlwind and the emotional onslaught of the first 10 days and nights of Muharram as we relive the Tragedy again, may seem to put us in a tailspin….we know each story, each martyr, each crime and even each cry!
Time passes, tik tok, ever fluid and never stopping. We mark the 10th after Ashura, then the 20th and the 30th and even Arbaeen has passed us by and before we know it , it’s Rabbi-ul-Awwal and we have forgotten the blacks, and the greens come out on our Imambargha walls to celebrate Jashan-e-Sadaqaayn!
So where was I, between the commemoration and the celebration?!?! Was I spiritually present? Did I make an intentional intention to change this Muharram ?
Did I reflect on a talking point in a lecture? Did I make notes? Did I go and seek answers to the questions that burn within me? Did I go out of my way in the name of Imam Husayn and help others? Did I volunteer my time, experience, or wealth in spreading his message? Did I scroll and swipe on posts and reels that help me improve as a person or was I just brain rotting?!?! Did I stand up by word or deed for Imam Husayn’s values? And no doubt there will be more to this list…
Each year, Muharram comes and goes and here I am, stagnant and stumbling…if Husayn is the Lamp that never dims then why have I not basked in his light and grown from the caterpillar into a magnificent butterfly??? I forget that the ones who mourn Husayn not just for 2 months and 8 days but on every occasion throughout the year, that we have been handpicked and are the answer to a grieving mother and not just any mother by the way, but the great lady Sayyada Fatimah Zahra (SA) who cherishes and makes Dua for us!!! That Karbala does not need us but it is us who needs Karbala! The beauty of the Slain and the beauty of the Creator reaches for the beauty within us and nudges us towards the light! Our duty is clear, and we are not here by accident, there is no flaw in Allah’s plans and in His creation! I need to be present, I need to be accountable to myself before I am held to account on the Day where nothing and no one can intervene, and I need to plan. A plan of action which has baby steps , like I know myself, and I know I am not going to learn Arabic by next Muharram. The biggest impact now is on my mental health; it seems like brain fog central in there right now with a few rail tracks missing! So, I need to invest in mental decluttering and figuring myself out! Everyone has their own list to work on, and Muharram is that springboard that helps us to reform, re-energise and return to our inner nature…so I am reminding myself not to just pass my time this year but to gain time by allowing Karbala to live within me!
Ilmfully yours,
Sukaina
Comments