Salamun Alaykum, dear, beautiful souls
“The wound is where the light enters in.”Rumi
Many of us, especially women navigating family relationships, faith, and doing community work, are reaching a spiritual tipping point. We’re giving and giving, but something feels off. The very service that once nourished us now leaves us brittle, restless, or resentful. And so, the question arises:
“How do I honour the soul Allah entrusted me with — without becoming cold or selfish?”
In our journey of faith, there comes a time when the soul begins to whisper a question many of us avoid asking out loud:
“How do I protect my soul from negativity — without becoming cold or selfish?”
This question keeps surfacing — at retreats, in mosque circles, in healing talks, and especially within family systems, joint households, and community work. We are burning out. Not just physically but spiritually. Many are surrounded by emotional heaviness, cultural expectations, mental health stressors, and a constant pull between being “present” for others and preserving the inner light Allah entrusted us with.
And so, it is time to gently reclaim our wellness — not as a luxury, but as an act of divine stewardship.
1. The Soul Is an Amanah — Protecting It Is Worship
Your heart, your inner peace, your sanity — are all Amanah (trusts) from Allah. They are not infinite. When drained without replenishment, the ruh begins to suffocate under the weight of spiritual pollution — negativity, gossip, emotional manipulation, and fear-based environments.
Allah is Ar-Raqeeb — the One who watches over all things. Are you watching over what enters your heart?
Imam Ali (as) said:
“Your remedy is within you, but you do not sense it.
Your sickness is from you, but you do not perceive it.”
(Nahjul Balagha, Wisdom 8)
Islamic wellness is not simply surviving — it’s living with heartful awareness. It’s asking:
“Is what I’m absorbing from others — words, energy, expectations — bringing me closer to Allah, or away from Him?”
2. Burnout in Community Work: Is it for Allah or for the Nafs?
Let’s be authentic : many of us are drowning in service, emotionally overcommitted, and inwardly empty. We do it for the community, for the cause, for the sake of Allah — but somewhere along the way, we lose our joy, patience, and presence.
And here’s the sobering truth:
If it’s draining you, it’s time to pause and ask — is it truly for Allah or for the nafs?
When service becomes performance, when helping becomes compulsion, — that’s no longer ikhlaas (sincerity). That’s spiritual entanglement.
Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (as) reminds us:
“The one who acts for Allah will remain. And the one who acts for people will vanish with their praise.”(Al-Kafi, vol. 2)
Anchor yourself in Al-Muqeet — the Nourisher. If you are not spiritually nourished yourself, you can not nourish others.
3. Boundaries Are Not Ego. They Are Divine Wisdom.
There’s a misconception that setting boundaries is un-Islamic — that it reflects impatience or arrogance. But the Ahlulbayt (as) never taught us to abandon ourselves in the name of emotional martyrdom.
Lady Zaynab (sa), in the heat of Karbala and its aftermath, preserved her inner strength through dignified silence and deliberate speech. She did not absorb everyone’s pain blindly — she transformed it into a mirror of Divine justice.
Imam Ali (as) advised:
“Do not keep company with those whose company does not improve you.”(Ghurar al-Hikam)
That is not harsh. That is wisdom.
Boundaries are the garden walls of the soul. They are not to shut people out but to keep the light of your spirit intact — so you can serve, love, and give with wholeness.
4. Practical Tools for Navigating Negativity & Maintaining Wellness
Here are spiritually grounded tools that we can reflect on and implement in our daily life, especially if we are surrounded by imposter syndrome, negative talks, and emotional turbulence:
a) Daily Intentional Check-in
Ask yourself each morning:
“What I’m doing today — is it from my ruh or my nafs?”
“Am I saying yes because of guilt, or because it brings me nearer to Allah?”
Anchor in Al-Haqq (The Truth) and Al-Lateef (The Gentle). Let your actions come from truth wrapped in compassion.
b) Protect Your Mornings
The early hours are your soul’s greenhouse. Don’t start the day with people’s energy — start it with Allah. Qur’an, dhikr, journaling, or simple silence.
“And remember your Lord within yourself in humility and fear, without being loud, in the mornings and evenings.”
(Surah Al-A’raf, 7:205)
c) The 3-R Rule for Boundaries
Recognise: What patterns, people, or spaces consistently leave you feeling heavy, unworthy, or anxious?
Reframe: What is Allah teaching me through this discomfort?
Respond: What boundary would honour my soul and Allah simultaneously?
d) Replenish with His Names
When you feel drained by people, turn to Allah through His Names:
Al-Ghafoor – When you need to recalibrate your soul back to Allah swt.
Al-Saboor – When you need to hold space without exploding.
Al-Wakeel – When you need to hand over what you can’t control.
Al-Jabbar – When your heart feels shattered from tension or misunderstanding.
Al-Karim – When you feel unappreciated or unseen.
5. The Beauty in the Breaking
Let’s not sugarcoat it: relationships will test you.
You’ll experience judgment, jealousy, betrayal, family wounds, cultural criticism, and heartbreak.
But each moment is also an unveiling — a stripping away of the ego.
It is in the breaking that we become real.
Imam Sajjad (as) wept in Sahifa Sajjadiya:
“O Allah… lift the veils of heedlessness from my heart, so I may see only You in all things.”
Every tension, every toxic encounter, is an opportunity to ask:
“What part of me is being purified through this?”
“Am I being invited to embody Allah’s Names… or just react from my wounded self?”
6. Final Reflections: Walk Gently, But With Power
Dear sister,
You were not created to carry everyone else while crumbling inside.
You were created to walk with God, grounded and gentle — like the servants of Al-Rahman,
“…who walk upon the earth with humility, and when the ignorant address them harshly, they say: Peace.” (Surah Al-Furqan, 25:63)
This verse doesn’t ask you to fix others.
It asks you to remain rooted in your own peace — a peace that is cultivated through Divine connection, not external control.
Islamic wellness is wholeness.
It’s not choosing between faith and mental health. It’s remembering that Allah is both the source of healing and the goal of the journey.
A heartfelt Du’a:
“O Allah,
Make me among those who serve without ego,
Love without depletion,
Hold boundaries with beauty,
And walk through life as a mirror of Your Names.
Let every space I enter be lit by Your Light,
And every soul I meet feels Your Mercy through me.
Let me not lose myself in the noise —
But find You, again and again, in the stillness.”
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